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Posts archive for: March, 2006
  • TEN- DROOL - KAR

    For once I agree with bald-headed bad boy of Bollywood, Salman Khan --- Just
    chill! Ever since a national daily came up with the catchy creative title,
    End-ulkar, the whole country has gone bizarrely berserk and wants the Little
    Master to take-off his sweaty gloves. Big deal! And this is another
    grotesque exhibition of our Indian mind-set ; we just cannot accept the hard
    reality that we can lose matches, and that our demi-gods and real
    super-heroes can have a stomach upset. Come on guys, grow up! And more
    important, get your facts right.

    Let us cut through the statistical jungle--- it is all boring analysis
    anyway, but since it has enormous stimulation to offer , let us dwell on
    that. At least stats have the unequivocal advantage of being irrefutable and
    non-negotiable. . So here goes.

    The said article that questions Sachin’s future has graphically stated his
    career record in the last 10 Test matches played since December 2004;
    36 and DNB ( Did Not Bat )
    94 and DNB
    52 and 52
    41 and 16
    22 and DNB
    109 and 16
    23 and 19
    14 and DNB
    23 and 26

    Now my basic school arithmetic teaches me that the aggregate score for
    Sachin is 543 runs in 10 Tests . Now that does not look so formidable, right
    ? But now here comes the catch. If you look at his average it may hover
    around 39, but two of his knocks of 94 and 109 were instrumental in
    victories over Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Any disputes with that hard reality?
    Also, he has managed to settle down frequently but not capitalize
    thereafter; perhaps he needs to be more alert. More focused, maybe, as age
    and injury can slow reflexes a wee bit; but surely , he knows that better
    than all the arm-chair critics, right?

    Secondly, the man has scored a century just last month against Sri Lanka,
    three Test matches ago, for heaven’s sake? And I think Sachin’s critics are
    smartly shooting from Moin Khan’s shoulders about his “ walk” at 14 runs in
    Faisalabad; even the Australians did not raise such a hullabaloo when Adam
    Gilchrist trudged back in the World Cup semi-final against Sri Lanka at Port
    Elizabeth. To state that Sachin was getting frightened of Akhtar’s bodyline
    stuff is being unkind, uncouth and unbecoming of some self-publicists cum
    columnists. Instead, I would give Tendulkar credit for not even awaiting a
    verdict if he believed he was out , and showing us his fair sportsmanship.

    Also, statisticians please beware that both Rahul Dravid and Veeru Sehwag in
    two innings together could not match either Sourav Ganguly’s or Sachin
    Tendulkar’s single-inning score in Karachi ? Does that make them lesser
    batsmen? Isn’t Sourav and Yuvraj’s knock in Karachi more valuable than all
    those plundered loots from Lahore and Faisalabad ?Is Brian Lara’s 400 his
    best ever or is it the 270 odd he belted against Australia his real gem ?

    The biggest joke is the statement that Shoaib Akhtar averaged higher than
    Sachin; this is ignoramus stuff and not even worthy of a gentlemanly
    retaliation. . You know what guys, but Samir Dighe averaged higher than
    Ricky Ponting in the Final Frontier series in 2001 , so what ? In fact,
    Brian Lara ‘s average run of scores till he got a double hundred recently
    were lower than those of Harbhajan Singh’s in the corresponding number of
    games, but I fail to comprehend exactly what we will end up achieving by all
    this mumbo-jumbo and pyrotechnics with numbers. .

    Continuing with the preposterous “ research” is the finding that Sachin was
    placed third-last in averages behind Bhajji and Zaheer Khan. I remember
    Sunil Gavaskar barely averaged 20 against David Gower’s England team in
    India, but no one questioned his invincibility , human as we all are.

    Sure, Tendulkar is capable of much more thanks to the great benchmarks he
    has set for himself. The Pakistan series , let’s face it, barring the
    Karachi Test, was a total farce , and it was perhaps poetic justice that
    the Vinoo Mankad and Pankaj Roy partnership record was never shattered. And
    effectively, Tendu played just one match.

    In my opinion, Sachin Tendulkar is unwittingly and imperceptibly becoming a
    silent victim to a great extent of the vitiated political environment
    unleashed on the team by Greg Chappell. Sachin is seeing an Indian team
    fractured, fissured and fragmented, and a dictatorial political streak
    dominating the dressing room, where mutual trust and happy back-slapping
    times have been replaced by a measured methodical madness , furtive
    glances, pregnant silences and turbulent relationships. In his 16 years of
    international cricket, he is experiencing for the first time being part of a
    team that is clearly ruptured from within. And he is helpless in reversing
    the wheels of fortune therein.

    But we believe Sachin’s best is yet to come. Yes, he will occasionally fail,
    falter and fall. But we will still see some knocks which will make the junta
    drool, and dance. The crackers will burst again, the dimunitive figure shall
    spank his adversaries, and in his inimitable voice thank his team-mates at
    the award ceremony. Despite Greg Chappell.

    My case rests. Over to you.

  • New Revenues for BCCI

    Lalit Modi , BCCI Vice President , has reportedly identified new revenue
    streams for maximizing moolah :

    1) “ Howzzat ” will be banned, and the bowlers and fielders will have to
    scream the title sponsor’s name, such as “ How’s TVS ? . How’s Pepsi? ”

    2) Batsmen will have to compulsorily wear guards as they enter the field on
    the boundary-line; besides increasing TRPs , it will appease Lux Underwear,
    VIP Frenchie’s, and Jockeys etc who have been very upset with BCCI for not
    giving them an appropriate platform.

    3) Every player will be given a speaker microphone and at the fall of every
    wicket , and at the end of every over they will collectively sing the
    sponsor’s commercial and dance to the tune led by Rahul Dravid , which will
    be coordinated by Shiamak Davar.

    4) Players match fees will depend on how much exposure they give sponsor
    logos by being on the field. Last heard, Munaf Patel was protesting that he
    would like to open the batting as well.

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