TEN- DROOL - KAR

2006-03-31T08:39:17+02:00

For once I agree with bald-headed bad boy of Bollywood, Salman Khan --- Just
chill! Ever since a national daily came up with the catchy creative title,
End-ulkar, the whole country has gone bizarrely berserk and wants the Little
Master to take-off his sweaty gloves. Big deal! And this is another
grotesque exhibition of our Indian mind-set ; we just cannot accept the hard
reality that we can lose matches, and that our demi-gods and real
super-heroes can have a stomach upset. Come on guys, grow up! And more
important, get your facts right.

Let us cut through the statistical jungle--- it is all boring analysis
anyway, but since it has enormous stimulation to offer , let us dwell on
that. At least stats have the unequivocal advantage of being irrefutable and
non-negotiable. . So here goes.

The said article that questions Sachin’s future has graphically stated his
career record in the last 10 Test matches played since December 2004;
36 and DNB ( Did Not Bat )
94 and DNB
52 and 52
41 and 16
22 and DNB
109 and 16
23 and 19
14 and DNB
23 and 26

Now my basic school arithmetic teaches me that the aggregate score for
Sachin is 543 runs in 10 Tests . Now that does not look so formidable, right
? But now here comes the catch. If you look at his average it may hover
around 39, but two of his knocks of 94 and 109 were instrumental in
victories over Pakistan and Sri Lanka. Any disputes with that hard reality?
Also, he has managed to settle down frequently but not capitalize
thereafter; perhaps he needs to be more alert. More focused, maybe, as age
and injury can slow reflexes a wee bit; but surely , he knows that better
than all the arm-chair critics, right?

Secondly, the man has scored a century just last month against Sri Lanka,
three Test matches ago, for heaven’s sake? And I think Sachin’s critics are
smartly shooting from Moin Khan’s shoulders about his “ walk” at 14 runs in
Faisalabad; even the Australians did not raise such a hullabaloo when Adam
Gilchrist trudged back in the World Cup semi-final against Sri Lanka at Port
Elizabeth. To state that Sachin was getting frightened of Akhtar’s bodyline
stuff is being unkind, uncouth and unbecoming of some self-publicists cum
columnists. Instead, I would give Tendulkar credit for not even awaiting a
verdict if he believed he was out , and showing us his fair sportsmanship.

Also, statisticians please beware that both Rahul Dravid and Veeru Sehwag in
two innings together could not match either Sourav Ganguly’s or Sachin
Tendulkar’s single-inning score in Karachi ? Does that make them lesser
batsmen? Isn’t Sourav and Yuvraj’s knock in Karachi more valuable than all
those plundered loots from Lahore and Faisalabad ?Is Brian Lara’s 400 his
best ever or is it the 270 odd he belted against Australia his real gem ?

The biggest joke is the statement that Shoaib Akhtar averaged higher than
Sachin; this is ignoramus stuff and not even worthy of a gentlemanly
retaliation. . You know what guys, but Samir Dighe averaged higher than
Ricky Ponting in the Final Frontier series in 2001 , so what ? In fact,
Brian Lara ‘s average run of scores till he got a double hundred recently
were lower than those of Harbhajan Singh’s in the corresponding number of
games, but I fail to comprehend exactly what we will end up achieving by all
this mumbo-jumbo and pyrotechnics with numbers. .

Continuing with the preposterous “ research” is the finding that Sachin was
placed third-last in averages behind Bhajji and Zaheer Khan. I remember
Sunil Gavaskar barely averaged 20 against David Gower’s England team in
India, but no one questioned his invincibility , human as we all are.

Sure, Tendulkar is capable of much more thanks to the great benchmarks he
has set for himself. The Pakistan series , let’s face it, barring the
Karachi Test, was a total farce , and it was perhaps poetic justice that
the Vinoo Mankad and Pankaj Roy partnership record was never shattered. And
effectively, Tendu played just one match.

In my opinion, Sachin Tendulkar is unwittingly and imperceptibly becoming a
silent victim to a great extent of the vitiated political environment
unleashed on the team by Greg Chappell. Sachin is seeing an Indian team
fractured, fissured and fragmented, and a dictatorial political streak
dominating the dressing room, where mutual trust and happy back-slapping
times have been replaced by a measured methodical madness , furtive
glances, pregnant silences and turbulent relationships. In his 16 years of
international cricket, he is experiencing for the first time being part of a
team that is clearly ruptured from within. And he is helpless in reversing
the wheels of fortune therein.

But we believe Sachin’s best is yet to come. Yes, he will occasionally fail,
falter and fall. But we will still see some knocks which will make the junta
drool, and dance. The crackers will burst again, the dimunitive figure shall
spank his adversaries, and in his inimitable voice thank his team-mates at
the award ceremony. Despite Greg Chappell.

My case rests. Over to you.

Comments

New Revenues for BCCI

2006-03-27T09:39:44+02:00

Lalit Modi , BCCI Vice President , has reportedly identified new revenue
streams for maximizing moolah :

1) “ Howzzat ” will be banned, and the bowlers and fielders will have to
scream the title sponsor’s name, such as “ How’s TVS ? . How’s Pepsi? ”

2) Batsmen will have to compulsorily wear guards as they enter the field on
the boundary-line; besides increasing TRPs , it will appease Lux Underwear,
VIP Frenchie’s, and Jockeys etc who have been very upset with BCCI for not
giving them an appropriate platform.

3) Every player will be given a speaker microphone and at the fall of every
wicket , and at the end of every over they will collectively sing the
sponsor’s commercial and dance to the tune led by Rahul Dravid , which will
be coordinated by Shiamak Davar.

4) Players match fees will depend on how much exposure they give sponsor
logos by being on the field. Last heard, Munaf Patel was protesting that he
would like to open the batting as well.

Comments

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TEN- DROOL - KAR

New Revenues for BCCI